Yours sincerely

Family, friends, house chores, petty tasks, I use everything to give myself a break from remembering you. Still, when I go to bed late at night, I can't help myself. I think about you and the yous before you and the unfinished stories they brought with them. And then I see everything repeating, the same distance, the same faded unsaid words. I know you didn't want this and me neither, but that's just the way it is. I'm working hard to overcome such a disturbing situation but it's being hard because I don't know for sure what you think. Or what you feel. You say you don't understand yourself and so you can't explain anything you do. Even if this is true, it's quite tough for me to burry this subject if I don't know what your acts mean. You do one thing, and the next day you barely can say good morning. You see, this gets me to think that maybe what you say isn't what you feel and that, maybe, we can work something out. But you said the opposite. So, I'm stuck in the middle of a stream of doubts, trying to make something out of this mess and having to guess a lot of things. The bad news is that I suck at guessing. And, as far as I can tell, you might as well go to te bottom of the sea or to the Moon tomorrow. I just want to ask you to be honest with me and with you. I will not expose myself more than I have already done. I know you have reason to hide and be afraid but so do I and believe me I am pushing my efforts further than I've ever done. So, all I ask is that you think and feel your feelings. Then, tell me what you've thought. I like you and I'd like to be close to you, on a regular basis. I'd like to feel your care. I'd like to spend the night with you not thinking that you're doing so in an altered state of mind. If there's a chance that this can happen, please let me take it. Let me try to do you good. If, on the contrary, you feel I'm not person you want now, please tell me that. Convincingly. Thank you.